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Sunday, April 27, 2008

Am i really possessive......i hate this !!

My 'fatty' travelled again..........yeah, no big deal........in fact, initially i had no intention of mentioning it here!! If you have been following me, i'm sure u had read quite a number of times i rant about him bringing back lots of loots from his travellings....be it for business or leisure !! And not forgetting how he messed up my life when he travelled leaving me to manage the boys all alone!! It goes to show how often he travels............& i can udrstd if it is for business but......!!

I admit that i hate it when he travels with his buddies for leisure, i hate it when he chose to leave us at home when he happily vacationing, i hate it when he does it so often...........
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To me, once u have a family, it means u r no longer as free as when u r a bachelor where u can just pack yr bag & leave anywhere.....anytime!! But now that u have the role of a dad & a husb, every action/decision affecting your family deserves a deeper thought!!
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So, though i know i don't have d power to stop him from pursuing his plan, i still choose to torture him "verbally".......aka 'nagging' !! I can't help but to burst out all my unhappiness, disappointments & upsets. So just when he was about to depart, i sent him an sms "reminding" him how much he has been travelling "unnecessarily" lately.....saying things like he was 'selfish' ....being too much....i also asked him to reflect....but i didn't forget to ask him to take care as i didn't want to sound too nasty!!
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Actually I didn't expect him to return a call immediately knowing that all his buddies were around then but he did..... and i know now i must have made myself 'very bad' in front of his buddies.....well, i don't care anymore!! Our conversation didn't really ended in a war......it was just a casual lecturing & both of us are ok!!

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But what i just don't understand is ..........why in the world every time when it was my turn to babysit the boys, there are problems with the boys. The last time around, it was Scot that had food poisoning...........and guess what, this time was Sean's turn. I'm angry & upset with myself as it made me a lousy mom !!

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In fact, I only decided to write this after finishing 'my wish' post below when Sean suddenly woke up from his sleep walking into the bathroom. As he pulled down his pants, i thought he was just going for another release!! He already had 'poo'/diarrhoea 2 times during the day!! But I got really fumed up when i discovered that this lil guy had accidently 'berak'/poo in his pants...........yikess !!!
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The fact that i was made to endure the 'stink' & 'mess' at midnight really made me wanna blame that 'fatty' more.......yes, i'm gonna make him more guilty !!!
I didn't take their meal for granted this time. I brought them to good air-cond 'kopitiam' restaurant for breakfast, then it was McD for lunch and chinese courses for dinner with grandpa+ma............what's wrong with that?? It wasn't varied much from what we will head on should dady is around !!!

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Now that my boiling blood has cooled down, i began to wonder......am I being too possessive over my huby?? Am i really not right for being so offensive to him travelling for leisure (without us)??

I didn't deny that i do travel with my girlfriends too but i'm sure it will less than 3 times a year......
I don't know............ i just hate it...........when my poor boy is not feeling well and i had to endure it all alone !!!

13 comments:

Rjoc said...

Poor Jacss but look at all the time you now had to put up 3 blogs and nothing about F***.
Perhaps the boys know that their mummy will really look after them so they become 'ill' when she is by herself just to take her mind of her poor overworked hubby forced to eat aeroplane food and being in a strange city. (Hehehe)

slavemom said...

Ur hubby's so vy lucky to be able to go vacation with his buddies so many times a yr. U hv the right to 'burst'. I'd be vy upset too if I were in ur shoes, esp if things weren't smooth sailing at home.
I'm not saying a married man can't go holidaying w/o his family but once a yr, that's more than sufficient, no? :D But at least u oso get the chance to break free with ur gfs once in awhile.
Hope Sean's stomach is back to normal edi. Hey, don't be mad at him lah. When he's having diarrhea, it's hard to ctrl his bowel mah, esp when he's sleeping.

Ling That's Me said...

hope u feel much better after ranting. frankly speaking, i would be as angry as u if my hubby travels without us, possesive u may say but that's how we will feel

JO-N said...

Oh Jacss, I feel for you. Most women won't like that. The difference between men and women always make the other party feel bad.

I read the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" and it says that if we try to tie our husband down, he would try harder to break free. Men are like rubber bands, the more you let them go (stretching of rubber band), they would bounce back to you at one point. Want to try this?

Have you heard of The law of attraction? It says that if you project positive thoughts, you will send out positive energy and you will get positive results and vice versa.

I think you may wanna try to tell yourself that you and your children will be fine when your husband goes on a vacation and all 3 of you will be happy during the period. Have these positive thoughts in your mind and try to have some activities that make all of you happy, even without him.

Sean's diarrhea has nothing to do with you. It's just an accident. Hope he's alright and hope you are alright too.

You know, I think I was very attached to my husband too last time but now, I slowly let go. It's not easy. I would sometimes be happy when he's not in so that I can have some ME time without husband. It's time to train ourselves to be tougher and more independent.

Mummy to QiQi said...

Jacss, i think so the same like you too. It feels really scary to be left alone with the kids. Threatened my hb, if he leaves me alone, I'll go get someone else to replace him! Thank goodness he is very sensitive towards my needs, knowing that i am a very dependent woman.

wen said...

3 times a year? diving or golfing?
wh, u and i can also go 3 times a yr together!! hehe. want?

1+2mom said...

Poor mummy. Hope everything are normal now and Sean feel better too.

My hubby know i dun like him go out so often with his friend at nite. Now he stay at home to play his online game. But still got out once a while lar. After married he didnt went to vacation by his own and so do i.

We like to vacation with family all together, have fun together.

i dunno how to 'tum yan',takecare yourself dun feel sad.

Anggie's journel said...

totally u/stand what u means here...
Hope ur boys are fine now.. mayb u can slow talk to him, and tell him straight, hope he know how to do in future .

take k ya...

papajoneh said...

hmmm... can i say something here? I noticed i'm the only papa here???

ok, change topic.. i hope Sean ok already. Hate it too when the kid is sick and he's under our care.

I still want to say about the many traveling done by your hubby. I can say this, he is lucky to be able do that. I understand the possessive feeling. You do have valid points. For me, when the company want to send me outstation, i demand they informed me earlier.. if it cannot be avoided. But when they insisted me to go, I once fight the boss about it... and having twins around did give the advantage when giving reason to NOT GO OUTSTATION. Especially for us with no maid around. So, what i want to say, its all up to your hubby. I do not want to go further but safe to say from me, its all up to your hubby. Priority is the keyword here. Which one can live without. ;)

laundryamah said...

gosh,,,i was at one split sec moment thinking that this post is about me & my hubby writing it! i do just pack my bags & go and leaving the kids to my hubs but at least he has my mom to help out ler...

hang in there...can't be of much help here as i'm the culprit too!

jacss said...

well uncle, true...maybe d boys could see d unhappiness in mumy so they decide to get ill to keep me busy also at d same time protecting their beloved dady.....
:( sigh !!!

glad to hear that some 'ladies' here do understand & hear me...thks genie, chinnee, anggie & sylvia... meaning i'm right to be mad too, haha... u guys r lucky tat yr huby r 'listening' to yr needs but my man is just not that type!! he is stil a good husb...just d chauvinism that's a bit intolerable at times!!

sure i want wen, i'll be happy to go in a all-girls vacation....neither golfing nor diving!! more of shopping, eating, relaxing & sightseeing perhaps..

thanks for d well said comment JO!

u know what, i actually had this book too "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" which was bought by my huby many years ago when we were still courting.....haha
but guess d book was not successful in making him udrstd more about women eh!
as for me...i'm just too lazy to read!

anyway, i agree wif u that it's not good to tie/control them too much! and d law of attraction sounds realistic too! thks again..

well joneh, u have really hit the point here....i absolutely agreed that it was entirely my huby's choice/decision to travel. apparently "sometimes" he gave his passion/interest above others... i know life can be boring at times & he may needs buddies companion & leisure...that's why i also agreed that he is lucky to be able to do that! his wife is capable ma....plus i have my whole family nearby to depend on!!
btw, yr wife so lucky lor....haha

amah, amah....u r another lucky woman!!

Jacss said...

forgot to thanks Ling for d udrstd'g too...

Rjoc said...

Jacss, About the boys getting a tummy upset even though they had eaten at 'good' places not just any roadside store: there is a show on Australian TV but produced in Britain, about Gordon Ramsay. He is a very successful Chef and he now has a series about going into restaurants which are loosing money and turning them generally around. Now these places are all high class places but the scenes in some of the kitchens as to their lack of cleanliness and how they keep the food, would put you off going out and eating!! So the standard is not always as good as it should be whether it is Malaysia, Australia or England, food left out of the fridge too long can go off, a fly could land on it, the people don't use gloves when handling food or they don't change gloves when picking up unclean items or handling money.

P.S. When you go off on your girls only trip later on is your hubby going to write a blog about staying at home hehehe.